Funny love quotes
"I Love My Wife" bumper stickers are strictly for men who were caught cheating.
If every time I thought of you, a star fell, Well, the sky would be empty.
I don't think I'm that good at telling time. He said he'd love me forever, and I thought forever was a lot longer.
I can tell if two people are in love by how they hold each other’s hands, and how thick their sanitation gloves are.
I know you think I'm cute, I know you think I'm fine, but like the rest of the guys.. take a number and wait in line.
Confucius says Love one another. If it doesn't work, just interchange the last two words.
One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.
Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.
Isn't it funny how just one little phone call or text can make your bad day suddenly wonderful?!
True love is felonious...You take someones breath away...You rob them of the ability to utter a single word...You steal a heart.
That awkward moment when your crush is absent from school, and you wasted a really cute outfit.
Cuddling is cute and fun until kissing happens then well, shit gets real.
I love you more than I hate everything else.
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.
She is not a jealous person. She is just a girl that would love to punch every girl in the face, that gives you a second look.
Sleeping with an ex is like masturbation. You know you're fucking yourself but you do it anyway.
The wind blew my words away from you. So while I told you I love you, the phrase was carried in the opposite direction and landed 333 miles away in the ears of a confused farmer. He was nice, though. He sent me a kind letter saying that while he was flattered, I wasn’t really his type.
Oh, I wouldn't mind, Hazel Grace. It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.
Me plus you. Multiply by your smile. Minus the drama. A fraction of your heart. I'll solve your problems. We make the Perfect Equation.
When you fall head over heels in love, you must land on your head and become stupid in love because you never see any imperfections.
I like you a lottle, it's like a little, except a lot
He stole my heart and I am planing for revenge. I'm going to steal his last name!
When your ex says "you'll never find anyone like me" reply "that's the point".
Today I saw something that reminded me of you. But don't worry, I flushed and everything went back to normal.
Im single because Im in love with my best friend.
One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.
If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.
Welcome to the wonderful world of jealousy, he thought. For the price of admission, you get a splitting headache, a nearly irresistable urge to commit murder, and an inferiority complex. Yippee.
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
I do not trust people who don't love themselves and yet tell me, "I love you." There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.
"To douchebags!" he said, gesturing to Brad. "And to girls that break your heart," he bowed his head to me. His eyes lost focus. "And to the absolute fucking horror of losing your best friend because you were stupid enough to fall in love with her."
They didn’t agree on much. In fact, they didn’t agree on anything. They fought all the time and challenged each other everyday. But despite their differences, they had one important thing in common. They were crazy about each other.
And so the lion fell in love with the lamb he murmured. I looked away, hiding my eyes as I thrilled to the word. "What a stupid lamb," I sighed. "What a sick, masochistic lion."
When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall. Think of it always.
Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.